Life in Technicolour
by MagicallyChallenged
Summary: Set after 3x04 this is an insight to the little inner ramblings of a certain doctor. Really short, quick read, first attempt at LG ff.


**Authors Note: I'm relatively new to Lost Girl, but instantly was attracted to the relationship between Lauren and Bo. I think it's wonderful that the writers have taken two people, and made them so attracted to one another that the gender of those two people hasn't become the bigger issue. It's obvious that they're more interested in storytelling and character building than rating wars and putting on a show, and its heart-warming to watch the interactions between these characters, portrayed by such marvellous actresses. Anyways I digress; this is a little something I wrote because I couldn't get the image of Lauren crying out of my head after episode 3x04.**

**I hope it's okay x**

**Life in Technicolour**

_Laurens P.O.V _

They say that honesty is the best policy, but they don't tell you that sometimes, the truth hurts. I'm not talking about the kind of momentary pain you feel after an injection, sharp and hot, but gone before you know it.

No.

The kind of pain that truth brings is dull, unsettling, it's an ache that invades your body, heads straight for your control centre and attacks. It stops your ability to think straight, it dominates, coursing its way through your veins in an ice cold dash to fill the space in your chest cavity instantaneously. It's a crippling, searing pain that can bring you to your knees and never seem to let go. The kind of pain that truth brings is a force to be reckoned with, it's impossible to stop. The kind of pain that truth brings blankets your sensibilities and smothers your rationality, it destroys whatever is in its path and leaves you broken. It renders you incomplete…lacking.

But, it's worth feeling like this, just to be with her.

It's worth it because I'm safe. With her, I'm safe and I'm loved, and I'm not whole because she is such a huge part of me. I'm not whole because she has my heart… she is my heart. I know that for a doctor that just doesn't sound rational, but like I said… rationality has no place in lovers' laments.

I wish I hadn't pushed. I wish she hadn't opened that beautiful mouth and said what she did. But wishes are dreams that fools dare to vocalise and I'm done believing that anything can be black and white.

After all, that's one thing I love about her… she brought me into technicolour. She painted my lonely days with the soft palette of her love for me. She turned my numbing heart a shade of red it's never flushed before. She has filled my days with miracles; prisms of refracted light that she assures me were there all along, only I know it's taken her for me to see them. She has whispered the softest of symphonies in my ears, she has kissed constellations along the expanse of my skin and she has made me feel more alive than I ever thought possible. When I look at her, really take the time to look at her, in her wonderous beauty… she has hues in her eyes that would put the most beautiful of sunsets to shame.

I know I'm not enough for her. I know I'm not good enough for her… but it is hard to breathe without her. It's hard to imagine my life without her. I want her to have everything she has ever dreamt of. She deserves that life she craves so badly, that life she whispers about in her sleep, the one that lingers on her tongue during waking moments. She deserves that.

She deserves a break, peace from all the decisions and battles she has to face. She deserves someone stable, someone honourable, and someone who can protect her. She is strong, but she deserves the option to not have to be. She deserves arms that can keep her safe from harm, not ones that have to fix her up afterwards.

She is special… wonderfully breath-taking and as much as I give her, I know it's nothing compared to what she gives me. Which is why, choking on my tears and using all my resolve I stilled my shaking shoulders as she told me the truth. That she had been healed, that she had been with him. And I expected to feel jealousy because that is human, but I didn't expect to feel it in this vibrant a hue. I expected to cry, but I didn't think that lovers' tears would burn as much as these do. I expected to feel pain but not like this, and I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her… not again, and so I break. I open up and make myself vulnerable and I let her know that I love her, and I do… unconditionally. I love her endlessly and that scares me because, one day things will change.

This world, her world, our world…will need her. They will need her to be a leader, and I'm going to have to take a step back and let go, and face my biggest fear…my life without her. Without her smile, without her laugh, her heart beating against mine, her hands tangled in my hair and her body wrapped around my own.

For a while I'll have to just sit there and watch as the colour fades away and I'm back where I began before I met her. Only I will be filled with memories that I will cling to. On nights the skies are empty, I will remember the galaxies' she painted in kisses on my skin. My fingers will linger on the universe she created below my ear. I will be nothing without her, of this I am aware.

So for now, as selfish as it is to keep her to myself, as selfish as our commitment to each other sounds to anyone but us… I'll do all I can to keep my world in technicolour. No matter how much pain the truth will bring.


End file.
